Dorks 'R Us: Graphics and Sound WAD, shareware version

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Title              :Dorks 'R Us: Graphics and Sound WAD, shareware version
Filename           :SHDORK.WAD
Author             :Alex Bobbs 
Email Address      :[email protected]
Misc. Author info  :I'm an aritst who makes WAD's for a hobby.
                    My address is:
                                   Alex Bobbs
                                   11911 Louise Ave.
                                   Granada Hills, CA 91344 

Description        :The full version of this graphics and sound WAD will
                    replace eight musics, 28 sounds, 1 weapon, 4 bad guys,
                    and some other stuff. Every change I've made is
                    something totally demented and silly. (See complete
                    list below)

Contents: SHDORK.WAD       The WAD itself
           DORKS.HHE       A hacked .exe patch(ver. 1.3 only)
           DEUSF.EXE       A tool you will need to use the sprites
          SHDORK.TXT       You're reading it
             HHE.EXE       Needed to implement .exe patch
             HHE.INI       Needed to run HHE

Full version preview stuff included:
       HERETIC09.GIF    A screen shot of the Energizer Bunny        
       HERETIC15.GIF    A screen shot of Santa
       HERETIC17.GIF    A screen shot of Rocky and Bullwinkle
          SNKDTH.WAV    The doom trooper's death line:"I'm doomed"
          KGTDTH.WAV    The Energizer Bunny's death line:"Should've
                        used Duracell"   
           

Additional Credits : My brother, Philip Bobbs, for his energizer 
                     bunny artwork and voice clips. Also id 
                     software for the doom trooper artwork which
                     I grabbed from the shareware version of DOOM.

===================================================================

*Construction*

Base           :From scratch
Editors Used   :Deutex, Wintex, Paintbrush, Sound Recorder, TED,
                Creative Wave Studio, Paint Shop Pro.
Known Bugs     :It crashes when you run it on Episode 5
                (the Stagnant Demense).
               

***INSTUCTIONS***

After unzipping, copy ALL files included in this zipped package to
your HERETIC Directory. Whenever you want to play Dorks 'R Us, follow
the following procedures:
1. Enter the HERETIC directory
2. Type "DeuSF -merge shdork.wad" and press enter
3. Type "Heretic" and press enter. The game will begin.
4. To restore Heretic to it's original state, type "DeuSF -restore" 
   and press enter.
If you have version 1.3, follow these instructions to use the .exe patch:
1. Run hhe.exe
2. Press l, and tell it to load dorks.hhe(IGNORE ERROR MESSAGES)
3. After it's done, press w
4. When you run Dorks 'R Us, type "herehack" instead of "heretic"
HAVE FUN!!!

*Copyright / Permissions*

READ THIS CAREFULLY(It's worth a laugh):
If you wish to keep this program, you must register it for $75 within 2
hours of installing it. If you do not wish to register it: After the 2 hour
time limit, you must discontinue using it, erase it from your computer,
destroy any disks it came on, delete any archival copies, sign an aggrement
that you will never get a similar program, agree to the disclaimer and
waurentee, E-mail a comments/suggestion letter to me, destroy any evidence
that you ever had the program, and deny you ever got it. Furthermore, you
may NEVER distribute this program AT ALL, and you may NEVER use any part of
it for ANY of your own programming purposes. Should you break any of these
rules, MY SPIES WILL SEE YOU AND KICK YOUR BUTT. Just kidding. 

THE TRUTH IS:
Unlike most programmers, I am not in denial about the fact that you can all
do what you please with my software without me knowing it. Therefore, I'm
not going to pretend that I can stop you with any legal mumbo jumbo, but I 
would VERY MUCH appreciate it if:
 Credit is given when credit is due, and 
 Please include this txt. file when distributing.
IN FACT, PLEASE DISTRIBUTE! Give it to your friends! Give it to your
relatives! Upload it onto your favorite FTP site!

***COMPLETE LIST OF CHANGES***
(starred entries are only available in the full version)

New Musics      :"Mission:Impossible", *the "Batman" theme, *"MacArthur Park",
                 "Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me", "Begginner Skier"(by me)
                 *"Plea for the Trix Rabbit" (by me), *"All blues", *??????
                 (mystery music, I really don't know what it is or how I got
                 it, but it's really cool)

New Voice Clips :GARGOYLE:"Ouch!", "Aww, man...", "Hee Hee Hee..." DOOM
                 TROOPER:*"I'm doomed!",*"Doom Rules!", BARNEY:"I love you, 
                 you love me...", "You don't love me!", SANTA:*"Ho, ho ho...
                 " *"You've been a very naughty boy this year.", SABRECLAW:
                 *"Como Estás?" *"No es bien!", HERETIC:*"Man, this is bogus!",
                 *"I HATE it when this happens", *"Cool!" ENERGIZER BUNNY:
                 *"Should've used Duracell.",DRAGON:*"Man, is this guy heavy",
                 DISPARIL:*"Naughty, Naughty", *"I regret that I have but 
                 one life to lose for my country", WIZARD:"Double, Double,
                 toil and trouble", "I'm Melting!" MAULATAUR: "Will you
                 be my friend?"
                             

New Sound FX    :*DOOM Trooper footsteps, Whip cream, flying pies, "splatting"
                 pies, *Energizer bunny drum, *switch, *dragonclaw shot.
                 *Wand shot.

New Scenery     :Hollywood sign, *Graffiti:"OJ was here", *Graffiti: "Alex was here"
                 (hey, that's me), *Campaign posters, "No heretics" sign, 
                 "Mortal Kombat", *Rocky and Bulwinkle stained glass window,
                 "Red Rum"(the Shining), *happy faces, *rainbow walls,
                 *Flourescent lights, *lampshades, circus barrels,
                 *"Beware of Barney" signs. 

New Enemies     :*The DOOM trooper, *The Energizer Bunny, Barney, *"Santa" stuff
                 on Iron Lich.

New Weapons     :The BPG(Big Pie Gun): Fires cream pies and makes whip cream 
                 rain down on the enemies when you use the tome of power.
                 It replaces the HELLSTAFF.

Other Graphics  :New title/loading/ending screens, Smily faces on health chain,
                 Mustaches and glasses on stone beasts, New Menu header, New help/credit screens.

.EXE Changes    :Text changes: episodes, difficulty settings, BPG related
                 stuff, end of episode 1(make sure to check it out)

***GET THE FULL VERSION***
Why settle for only some of the madness when you could have 3 times as much?!
For only $5, you can get the full version of this great WAD directly from
the programmer.There are two ways to receive it:
1. E-mail:
Send $5 along with your E-mail address to my street address(see top of file).
and I will E-mail the WAD to you. 
2.Disk(recommended, as things do go wrong with file attachments):
Send $5 along with a blank disk(1.44 MB) and your street address to my 
street address(see top of file) The disk will be mailed back to
you with the WAD on it ASAP. 

***COMING SOON***

MARIO 3-D
The biggest, baddest, cartooniest, coolest, most complete HERETIC add-on ever!!!
It's SUPER MARIO 3D!!! Use weapons like the fire finger and artifacts like the
bomb-omb to battle koopas, hammer bros. and more in this spectacular WAD.
RELEASE DATE(as of now): July '97
Will be available with purchase($10-$15) through mail or E-mail(shareware 
version may be released as well)

ALIENS vs. HERETIC
Now, you Heretic gamers won't have to miss out on Justin Fischer's Aliens-TC
for DOOM, since I'm working on making this new version for Heretic. This 
WAD has been declared to be the best WAD for DOOM.
RELEASE DATE: Sometime in the first half a 1997
Available FREE!!! But here's the catch, you must be a previous customer to
receive it.

***OTHER IDEAS***
(Note: these are mere IDEAS that I haven't even started on, but you can still
E-mail me to tell me which ideas you like best)

A NASTY PRANK
This is a small prank WAD. Merge it into your friends Heretic WAD and he
go nuts attacking a an enemy who is actually his weapon!
Will be available FREE!!!

SHAKESPEAREAN HERETIC
"To be... or not to be" A Heretic sound patch which will give the monsters
and the Heretic a lot of Shakespearean lines.
Will be available FREE!!!

MENACES TO SOCIETY
Battle OJ Simpson, the Unabomber, Bill Clinton, and other menaces to society
in this graphics and sound WAD.
Will be availble most likely at small cost(shareware version posible).
                           
Feel free to E-mail any comments, critisisms, or questions to me at:
[email protected]